


Flowers on a Broken Path

by spamwrice



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Heartbreak, Introspection, Yachi Hitoka-centric, yachi hitoka character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26877820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spamwrice/pseuds/spamwrice
Summary: hi folks! i hope you enjoyed this, yachi does not get a lot of exposure i think... and hinayachi needs a comeback methinks tooyachi was one of the major reasons why i started watching haikyu because it was one of those rare moments in media where i felt truly seen. i was even more drawn to her when she yelled in that subway.i want to say more, but i dont know what to say!!but you can catch me on twitter @spamwrice and i would like to talk and meet more people over there :)and please let me know if you liked my work here!!
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 18
Kudos: 49





	Flowers on a Broken Path

“So, it’s official. I’m going back to Brazil, ” Hinata told her one evening many months ago. Yachi, fixated on the food on her plate, heard but failed to process it. The light beyond her window was fading. _Yet, you are still here._

She knew this was coming, they’ve both talked about it before. She was excited for him at first, though she wasn’t sure if she was all too happy. She loved that about him. He’s never stopped going after the wind–never stopped climbing mountains. She still loved him. But the last few months at her job had been too trying. Her career and her love for Hinata–if both were at its bloom, like two flowers of the same stem, then one can say that the trajectories are on similar paths. If in the beginning she would sprawl her hair across the pillows, Hinata would groggily roll over and smell the lavender-lemon in her strands. And she would squirm into his chest as they reveled in the remaining minutes before her apartment walls would be tainted with the yellow orange hues of the morning sun.

Then she gets up from his warmth and gets ready for work.

She thought she’d been doing well at it, but she didn’t realize how much of a phantom it was. It was sweet, offering her small victories that she would cherish for days and weeks. And soon enough, the sweetness began to rot at her teeth. She would get her work done in time. Meeting deadlines, checking off every list on her calendar, receiving praise from her supervisors–she wanted them all. She knew what she was getting into. She knew it was going to make her sleep less and eat less. _Well, how long do people go about doing everything without slowing down?_ She didn’t know that it would make her love less.

Consuming every sweet little victory, she savored them like she just couldn’t get enough of it. All the while the dark phantom reached for her throat. On days when she felt like she couldn’t breathe nor sleep nor swallow, it was the dark phantom’s work. On days when she unknowingly rejected Hinata’s offers to spend time with her–eating at the dinner table, going for a ten minute walk out in the nearby park, stepping into the shower with him–it was the dark phantom’s work. _Oh no, it’s okay… you can go ahead._ She would give him a slight smile that never quite reached her eyes. She had eaten too many sweets that she couldn’t bear to show him her rotted teeth.

“Please talk to me. Is everything all right with you? How is work?” Hinata quietly asked her. They stood out in Yachi’s balcony, watching the sunset after dinner. They didn’t even need to think about it. As soon as they had cleared out the table, their feet would take them there. And their bodies would seek each other, reaching for a touch, an embrace, and a kiss. But sometimes, sheer will can break habits.

Yachi, standing away from Hinata, breathed deeply, then slowly breathed out. Her face was smothered with emptiness, guilt, and regret. She turned towards the dark purples and pinks of the sky before her. Wide and expansive, she wished she was more like it. 

“I think I’ve been doing well. It’s just that it’s tiring.” She scoffed, “As you can see.”

Hinata draped his arms over the banister and bit his lip, “Yes, I do see that. But the thing is… I don’t see _you._ ”

There it is again. Her heart thumped loudly against its cage. _Let me out._ It was too loud. It was all too much. _Please!_ The gentle breeze, attempting to caress her face, actually scratched at her. The drifting clouds, urging her mind to quiet down, really reminded her of the many things that’s surpassed her. The sunset, softening its light on her being, truly burned a hole in her. She was silent, and Hinata looked at her over his shoulder.

He was frustrated. _Why does she need to keep doing this to herself?_ Yachi looks ahead, stock-still as a statue–except she was one that was crumbling, turning into dust. He was afraid that the wind would carry her away. He walked over and swiftly wrapped his arms around her, as if that would stop her from pulverizing _._ Nonetheless, she presses her forehead against his broad chest. Hinata holds her tighter, and she begins to cry. She couldn’t allow herself to hold him the way he does her now. _You do not deserve this._ She was trying hard not to get caught in the wind, though maybe she wasn’t that strong yet.

The love for both herself and Hinata were fading–dissolving like dust. _Dissolving like her._ She and Hinata are at the vertex of their shared path. He should slowly forget the smell of her hair, and walk away. _And where would Yachi go?_

Yachi looks up at him, and Hinata meets her eyes. Filled with tears, they look like broken glass. “I think you should go…” she told him. Her voice was subdued, as if her throat was sedated, incapable of letting her say out loud the words that didn’t need to be said.

These are the words that Hinata refuses to hear. _If only you were more patient with yourself, Yachi-san. I’m not going anywhere, yet you’re the one crumbling in the wind. I wish I could catch all the dust that you are becoming, and keep you in a jar. I will put you on my shelf and figure out how to get you back together–_ He stops himself.

Hinata’s chest inundated. The waters welled up in the pit of his stomach, surging in him, filling him up. It was cold. Frozen _._ His veins are crystallizing. His skin is stiffening. His fingers are numbing–and he couldn’t even pinch himself to somehow make sure this wasn’t real.

The waters keep rising, and Hinata lets his tears fall. Yachi didn’t know if she should cry with him or laugh. _You shouldn’t be in pain. That is so silly. You’re free of me now. You don’t need to call me to make sure if I was okay. You don’t need to sit with me every time we eat. You don’t need to take walks with me in the park just so I can ease my anxieties. You don’t need to take my clothes off in the night to let me know how much you love me. All of this is silly._

He held her. He didn’t want to close his eyes because all that he would feel was dust slipping through his fingers. They did say that when one sense was limited, another would be augmented. If he could embed her image in his mind before it’s all over, broken glass and all, then he will. “Yachi-san, I am here. I want to _be here_. You don’t need to push me away like that…” She looked away.

Indeed, the sky was beautiful beyond them. _Purple, blue, and orange._ It wouldn’t look like that if it weren’t for the sun infusing its brilliance in the clouds. Even if she had the sun coloring her up like that, she still wouldn’t be as magnificent as the sky. She pressed her hands against his chest, ready to push him away. _No,_ this is for her to remember how the warmth of his body felt against her palms. _Who knew this would be last time I’d touch you?_ _Who knew that I wouldn’t even hold you?_

Face contorted with fear, sadness, and grief, Hinata Shouyou was diminished to a dim glow. She looked away again. _What a coward._ “I know that. But I think I need to learn how to live with myself again...” Her hands slid down his chest, and dropped to her sides.

If in the end Yachi’s hair would leave a faint scent in the air, then Hinata would long to keep looking for her every time he catches a whiff of lavender and lemon.

He understood, and his feet carried him away.

~~~

Slipping his head through his shirt, Hinata decides to crawl into bed. Usually, he’d be shirtless under the covers, but he felt too cold. His own apartment felt empty. On days when Yachi sleeps over, her scent would permeate the air and her presence embrace him. While Hinata sits on the sofa watching volleyball games with the volume turned down, he listens to Yachi’s unconscious humming from the dinner table as she works on her computer. He wouldn’t be sure if he saw the blockers deflected the ball, but he would be sure when she stops humming. Then he’ll be hearing her chair scrape against the tiles and light footsteps approaching him. _Come here, you look tired._ She smiles at him, shoulders drooping and feet dragging.

He’s not sure if he would get to do that again.

~~~

“This is my fault,” Yachi tells herself as she turns out all the lights in her room. _Of course it is. You dragged him into your mess, and now here we are._ She lays her head on the soft pillow. Feeling a little disoriented, she missed the feel of his arm beneath her neck. An arm of living flesh and bones, with blood coursing through the veins and nerve endings sensing the smoothness of her nape, attached to the person who was willing to live this through with her. He was willing to look her in the eyes, broken glass or glazed over. He was willing to stay within reach, so that when she needs him she didn’t need to go far. She could just reach for her phone and call him. If he was staying over, she could just turn on her side and he’d be there lying with her. She would drape her leg across his waist, and her arm on his chest. Her forehead would be pressed against the side of his head. _Lemon and cedarwood, with faint lavender._

Warm and breathing, this was the person who was willing to walk with her through dark tunnels, on eggshells, and on thin ice. He was also the person who was willing to dance with her in the rain, to run with her while flying kites, and celebrate her life with him every day.

And now all she has cradling her head is an inanimate case of feathers from dead birds.

~~~

Hinata goes ahead on that broken path, but Yachi goes back to where it started. On the way back, she rediscovered the subtlety in the way the roots had grown. Dark flowers littered her path. With every step she took, she realized how the colors turned monochrome. She looks ahead–to where her trail started. When she cranes her neck, vibrant flowers decorated that part of her path. The flowers look like overgrown weeds, but they were the weeds that you wanted to keep because they were beautiful.

As she walked back, she tore at the roots of her monochrome flowers. Angry and resentful, her fingernails dug into her palms. _Why did you let this happen to yourself?_ She kept her head down as she walked, stomping on those stupid monochrome flowers. Tears clouded her vision, but she still indulged herself. Reaching her hand out, she allowed herself to suffocate the flowers, closing her fist around their stems, before she pulls them out with an aggression unhinged. They were as stubborn as she was _. Of course, you all are. I created you._ She tore at them, but they pinched and scratched her. Some were too long that she had to wrap them around her hand to pull. Her hands were raw and bloodied. Fingernails embedded with dirt. Joints maximally stretched. Bones tensed up to accommodate her willful strength. The path before her was still long and dark, but something inside her was shifting. It was shifting like the way vibrant flowers would spring out of the ground and grow throughout the seasons. The more Yachi had fought and pulled, she was beginning to operate mindlessly. _Dark flower. Reach down. Pull. Pull. Pull. Bite it. Chew it. Spit it out. Stomp on it. Leave it dead for all I care._

Arduous and extensive, one thought prevailed in her mind. _The path is broken. So what? Once I’m done pulling out these monochrome flowers, first I will admire the beginnings of my path. I will lie in it. Roll over in them. Revel in my own light and vibrancy._

_And so what if the path is broken? I will take the roots of my flowers and build myself a bridge. Then I will walk. Run. Crawl. Fly. When I find myself wanting to rest, I would likewise find you sitting on a bench by our shared path._

∞∞∞

Clouds drift across the blue sky as Yachi pulls on her coat. The day was being kind to her today. After long days of rain, she was glad to feel the heat of the sun along the slight chills of the wind. Her trench coat, dark and cinched around her waist, made her feel more composed. It does help to feel more in control from time to time. She realized her cardigans were comfortable, but it only allowed her to fold within herself. Trench coats needed a bit more effort to fix than cardigans. She likes to pull at the strings and suffocate them in a ribbon for some reason.

Today, she feels like she’s at the right place at the right time. The soles of her shoes kissed the pavement. The strands of her hair waved to the trees. The way her body moved electrified the air around her. Walking through the city streets with her coffee in hand, Yachi tilts her chin upwards. Offering herself to the surprises of the day, she dares the clear blue sky, _I am just as expansive as you are._

She passed by various storefronts. People came and went. Brand names flitted through her vision. Leaves fluttered as they fell from trees planted on the sidewalk. The chatter and clatter of the city embraced her senses. A woman’s heels click on the pavements. Cars drive over the sewage covers. Children’s laughter echo from across the street.

From afar, a man’s shoe squeaks on the marble steps of a sport store’s front. He looks left and the hood of his sweatshirt rustled against his skin. Turning to the right, the light caught his orange locks and then his feet were glued to the marble steps. Yachi Hitoka stood twenty feet away, her figure reflected upon Hinata’s irises.

Yachi’s heart inched up her throat, expanding as it repeatedly beat against its walls. Heat started from her chest, spreading down her torso, climbing up to her neck–her trench coat feels too hot now. Lips parted and eyes still, she beheld Hinata Shouyou standing on those marble steps.

“Yachi-san…”

He finally spoke. _God._ She hasn’t heard her name pronounced that way in so long. The way his jaw dropped and teeth caged up, ensnaring her name to let it simmer on his tongue. The lilt of his voice reached her mind. Its sinewy scions searched for the memories of each kiss, glance, and touch. Yachi impulsively rubbed her hand against the side of her pant leg. _I need to take this coat off of me!_ Her eyelids flutter as she breathes out. Her heart slid back into its cage, still beating heavily and so vigorously that its sound rose to her eardrums. The corner of Hinata’s mouth lifted. His eyes clouded with an affection reminisced, as if falling back into habit.

Yachi smiles brightly, her eyes crinkling, and takes a step.

~~~

The moment he laid his eyes on her, he knew she had changed. He thought her beautiful and unabridged. Noticing she wore a trench coat, he remembered how she felt about them all those months ago. She thought they were assuming and intimidating. She wouldn’t even consider cinching her clothing at her waist. Her shoulders were relaxed, yet daringly thrown back. Even her stance had changed–feet spread slightly apart and knees locked in. There was a firmness in her chin. It was set with an unusual determination seemingly born from habit. He felt arrested. _Talk to me._ _I wish to know what you’ve been up to. How did you gain such resolve? You look brilliant._ Yachi walks up to meet him on the marble steps. The warmth in his chest was once again there. His throat constricted while Yachi’s steadfast gaze rested upon his reddened face.

She bites her lip, keeping the betrayal of her giddiness at bay. _I wonder how he's been. I want to know more._ She slowly breathes out again, and allows the betrayal. Her cheeks pinked up, round and muscles tense. They pulled back to show her teeth, white and aglow. Hinata’s heart expanded to fill up his chest. It was too big that his words were blocked off, being kept in his body. She was within arm’s reach, but he felt paralyzed. Instead, he resolved himself to look in her eyes. They were clear and luminous. He could see himself in her world. _Do we still have a chance? I want to get to know you again. Are we too late?_

Yachi’s voice reached him, effervescent yet gentle. He felt like he just put on his favorite sweater–the bright yellow one he wore while he cooked himself a nice hot meal on a rainy day. “It’s been a while since we last talked, Hinata. What have you been up to?”

He finds himself smiling brightly as his eyes glimmered with renewed resolve. _Ah, I caught you at the right time, Yachi-san._

**Author's Note:**

> hi folks! i hope you enjoyed this, yachi does not get a lot of exposure i think... and hinayachi needs a comeback methinks too
> 
> yachi was one of the major reasons why i started watching haikyu because it was one of those rare moments in media where i felt truly seen. i was even more drawn to her when she yelled in that subway. 
> 
> i want to say more, but i dont know what to say!! 
> 
> but you can catch me on twitter @spamwrice and i would like to talk and meet more people over there :)
> 
> and please let me know if you liked my work here!!


End file.
